Photo Credit: Timothy White/E! Entertainment
How to sum up the premiere episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York (E! Sunday, 10 p.m. ET)? This is the true story of what happens when two horribly mismatched couples are made to live together in Manhattan's Gansevoort Park Hotel, and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.
What happens? Both relationships begin to unravel, and fast.
Going into the premiere episode, any human with a TV or Internet access already knew that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' marriage was doomed. But at the outset, viewers were reminded about the recent media storm that swirled around their separation, just 72 days into the marriage. They didn't even last long enough for the show to make it to air. After the "Eight Weeks Earlier," the show implies that this season will be about watching the implosion of their marriage. How did they get to this point?
Issue No. 1: Kim, 31, is neat, and Kris, 26, is... not. He does not help his cause by telling Kourtney, 32, that he sometimes leaves his clothes on the floor "just to make a statement."
Issue No. 2: No doubt it's hard enough for a young bachelor to adjust to sharing his living space with a new wife. But Kris is faced with sharing it with Kim's loopy sister, her disdainful boyfriend Scott Disick and their 23-month-old baby Mason (whose play space is right outside the newlyweds' bedroom). Humphries is disgusted by Kourtney's recounting of her latest activity, getting an oil enema. He's further freaked out by her naked yoga session (with female friends and a male instructor) in their living room.
Issue No. 3: Neither Kim nor Kris appear to be mature enough to live out a grown-up, real life marriage. In one segment, Kim throws a fit because Kris accidentally stepped on her toe. Just a little while later, she calmly takes the news that he'd like to move out and live separately. (He says he'd like to shift his basketball training to Minnesota, where he can focus.) Shouldn't she have let the toe thing go, and been a teensy bit upset over his need to flea from her presence?
As for the other crumbling union -- Kourtney's relationship with Scott Disick -- no one with prior knowledge of the show would ever bet on these two, either. Yet almost implausibly, Disick comes off as even more arrogant, ignorant and dismissive of his girlfriend than usual.
Granted, both Kardashian women have a certain penchant for wearing on their partner's last nerve. In this clip, which is typical of the Kourtney/Scott relationship, Kourtney antagonizes Scott by pushing organic kale chips on him. "What is all that crap?" he snarls, before she has even taken them out of the bag. "I'm not living in an ashram."
In short, viewers learned that relationships are hard. And beauty, wealth and youth don't mean much if you can't act like a grown-up.