When I saw thumbnails of these photos of my former husband Lance Armstrong with Tory Burch at the Valentino party in Rome on Saturday, I said: Holy crap... Lance and Sheryl Crow posed together? Nargh. It's Lance and his newish designer squeeze, whose dress was one part Little Mermaid and two parts Dolly Parton. Actually, Lance's new lady is a cross between Sheryl and his first wife, Kristin Armstrong. And Getty Images must agree because this is the caption they had along with the photo: American former professional road racing cyclist Lance Armstrong and his wife arrive at the post haute couture show gala dinner and ball in the Parco dei Daini at the Villa Borghese on July 7, 2007 in Rome, Italy.