Paramount Pictures
M. Night Shyamalan -- the director who gave us one modern classic (1999's The Sixth Sense) and a lot of beautifully shot but increasingly stupid follow-ups (The Village, Lady in the Water, The Happening) -- had high hopes for this summer's 3D action epic The Last Airbender. Back in February, he told us it would be the next Star Wars, the new Matrix. After reading the reviews, we have to wonder if he was joking.
How many ways can a movie writer say that a movie is appallingly, shockingly, historically bad? More than we can count, in fact! Here's a colorful sampling of how critics are describing Shyamalan's latest:
"The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here." -- Roger Ebert, The Chicago Sun-Times
"The dialogue... has the stilted sagacity of a fortune-cookie dictum; after each line is delivered, you may be tempted to shout out, 'In bed!'" -- Richard Corliss, Time
"The camera swoops and the music blares, but we might as well be watching a tolerant, teeth-gritting parent filming his son’s karate class demonstration." -- Keith Uhlich, Time Out New York
"The current national priorities should be as follows: reduce carbon emissions and stop funding the films of M. Night Shyamalan." -- Cliff Doerksen, Chicago Reader
"It’s a tossup as to which is worse: the script, which regularly grinds to a halt to Explain Everything until the movie curls up and dies; the shockingly dingy camerawork; or the execrable 3-D." -- Ty Burr, The Boston Globe
"As for the 3-D, I'm tempted to leave responsible critical language behind and say, quite simply, that it sucks -- except that the 3-D visuals in this movie would have to exist before they could be called terrible."-- Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
"The movie is so dim and fuzzy that you might mistake your disposable 3-D glasses for someone else’s prescription shades... So the best way to watch The Last Airbender is probably with your eyes closed." -- A.O. Scott, The New York Times
"If any movie ever warranted a class-action lawsuit against the filmmakers, it’s The Last Airbender." -- Keith Phipps, AV Club
Do you think The Last Airbender could possibly be this bad? Chime in below!
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