The solution: You can't try and force your in-laws to change in this situation, advises iVillager hmmoore. We all have our own tolerance levels when it comes to tidiness, and trying to make someone else's match yours is opening a door to ongoing problems. However, since there's a young baby involved, she adds: "I would agree that telling your mother-in-law to either clean her house or for her to come and visit you and your family is probably the best thing to do." (Kids will -- and do -- pick up just about everything, after all, and are susceptible to common household germs.)
"My Mother-in-Law is Impossible!"
The problem: iVillager Mamapatti details a 20-year battle with her mother-in-law, beginning the day she got married. "My mother-in-law blocked the entrance to the church on my wedding day; pressed on my C-section incision in the hospital to see if it hurt; told me that I was fat following brain surgery -- I was on steroids, for cryin' out loud!" And the list goes on. "She rejected my kids because they are girls, is mad because we didn't name any of the girls after her as is Italian tradition, thought I was demeaning my father's memory because I wore a green suit to his funeral, has absolutely no idea of my kids' birthdays or ages, does not even remember her son's birthday...." And, sadly, the only way Mamapatti has found to deal with it is to answer spite with spite. "It gives me great pleasure in telling them about important functions in my kids' lives after the fact -- like their first granddaughter's high school graduation and prom night."