In-Laws: Getting Along with the Family You Married Into

The solution: "Children and families are a blessing from God and I hate to see that your in-laws cannot see that. It is a pity that she cannot accept you for who you are," responds iVillager hmmoore. But she doesn't condone the tit-for-tat route Mamapatti has chosen. "Life is too short to hate, so I have learned to hate the things my soon-to-be in-laws do and not to hate them." She's found that turning the other cheek is the better approach -- and secretly gives her pleasure. "I have learned that the nicer I am to my fiance's mom, the angrier she gets!"

"They Won't Accept Me"
The problem: iVillager Melinda4 finds that no matter what she does to try and please her in-laws, there's no winning. "They blame me for their son's divorce and accuse me of taking him away from his family," she says -- even though, apparently, the in-laws never liked his first wife either, at least while the two were married. "This past year I've done all I can to encourage him to be with his family. I've invited his family to several events as well as to my home, but there's nothing I can do to get them to accept me. Whenever there is a dispute between my fiance and his ex, his family sides with her. And if they can't figure out a way to blame him for it, it becomes my fault."

The solution: iVillager Stretch123's advice was twofold. First, she said, decide whether it's possible to just accept things as they are, because it doesn't seem as if her in-laws will change. Second, Stretch123 advises, "Maybe you need to rethink this whole thing and talk to him about how they are always doing things for 'her,' rather than trying to get to know you, and how it makes you feel. If he's not willing to do something about it, then maybe he isn't that interested in you. To me, a guy will make sure that his family gets to know you, otherwise there is something wrong." Stretch123's last point is interesting, and one we can all learn from -- whose side is your husband on? What's his overall relationship with his family? Consider it: If he doesn't get along with his family, why do you think you're going to fare any better?

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