5 Lawsuits That Made the Judicial System Look Just Plain Crazy

That McDonald's hot coffee woman has nothing on these head-scratching suits

It's no secret that we live in a litigious society, but some people take things too far. Below are some lawsuits we still can't believe are real:

 

Oh, I'm sorry -- I thought this was going to be important... 

Because they had nothing better going on this week, Anheuser-Busch, the parent of Budweiser, decided to sue their rival Coors over claims that their can (yes, the can) provides the freshest and smoothest drinking. Coors responded by saying they didn’t expect the commercials to be taken so literally (obviously) and have agreed that they will stop advertising “the world’s most refreshing can” by the end of September. Meanwhile in the rest of world, no one cared. At all.

 

The world’s most expensive pants

Imagine the dry cleaner has ruined your favorite pair of jeans. How much money do you think you deserve to be compensated? $50? $100? $1,000? Wrong! The correct answer is $54 million. That’s the amount for which an administrative law judge in Washington, D.C., sued his dry cleaners after substandard service. Yes, you read that correctly -- the person filing the lawsuit was a judge. Not only that, the guy actually broke down in tears during his emotional testimony in the case of the ruined pants. (Sorry, did you catch that? That sentence read: "emotional testimony in the case of the ruined pants." That's real.)

We don’t know what kind of people get that torn up over pants, but we do think that maybe they shouldn’t be presiding over other cases and making decisions that affect other people. Just a thought.

 

Are you there, God? It's me, a Nebraska state senator

While it's unclear how suing the Almighty affects your chances at making it through the pearly gates, a Nebraska state senator apparently isn’t too worried. Democrat Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit against God, asking that he cease and desist with all the natural disasters happening in the world -- because, you know, they’re awful. If Chambers knew God was responsible for sending hurricanes and tornadoes and tsunamis, wouldn't he think twice before getting on his bad side? But this guy has no fear.

Chambers stated that he has no beef with God, he merely wanted to make a point that it is the constitutional right for a citizen to file a lawsuit against anyone for any reason. Message received.

 

Michael Jordan doppelganger

Allen Heckard bares an uncanny (if you squint your eyes) resemblance to the greatest basketball player of all time -- so, naturally, he felt that he deserved $416 million for it. The Portland, Ore., native sued Michael Jordan and Nike for the emotional damage he’s experienced from being constantly compared to the NBA icon. We can’t imagine how distressing it would really be, since the conversation probably goes something like this:

“Hey, you kind of look like Michael Jordan, a little.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard.”

“Neat. See you later."

Heckard eventually dropped the suit.

 

A real human being (unfortunately)

A woman in Michigan has no love for Ryan Gosling. After viewing the film Drive, she chose to sue distributor FilmDistrict for misleading her. Her claim: The trailer led her to believe the film would feature more driving. When extended highway action wasn’t there to drive the film, it drove her crazy and she regretted driving to the theater in the first place. Drive.

So the artsy drama was not what she had anticipated. But if that’s worthy of a lawsuit, then there are a few other filmmakers we’ll need to be filing grievances with.

Drew DiSabatino is a viral writer for iVillage. Follow him on Twitter and Google+.

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