Letter from a Korean Birth Mother

mother From the book I Wish for You a Beautiful Life: Letters from the Korean Birth Mothers of Ae Ran Won to Their Children, edited by Sara Dorow, introduction by Mrs. Han, Sang-soon. For information on how to order I Wish for You a Beautiful Life, contact Yeong & Yeong Book Company.

"I will always live with you in my heart."

When I call your name I feel pain in my heart because you are so young and your adoptive parents may be the only people in your life right now. Even though I gave you life and gave you your name, I could not keep you because of hard circumstances beyond my control. I chose adoption for you despite the anguish that I feel and despite the fact that you may not understand why I did so.

I am very sorry. I can't help crying when I think of you and remember what you look like. I could have given you all the love you needed from the moment I gave you birth as your mother, but because of the circumstances I was in, we could only spend a short time together. Our relationship as mother and child, though I wanted it to continue, ended so quickly because I had no other choice.

When I first looked into your face I tried to see what features we had in common. Knowing that it would be our last time together, my heart ached because, as your mother, I could not do anything for you.

When I looked into your face I knew that I would never forget you until the day of my death. Placing you in the care of your adoptive parents was the most difficult thing for me, but when I think that they will provide you with happiness and that you will provide them with happiness as well, then I feel relieved.

 

Dear baby, I hope you will be loved by your family and grow up to be a healthy, strong, and great person. Later on, when you find out that you are an adopted child (even though in my heart I hope that you will not know, because I don't want people to treat you differently), you may search for me.

Until that possible future meeting, I hope that I will live my life with confidence, trying to do my best in all that I do. I will also try my best to help you understand why my heart aches when I think of the fact that you were given up for adoption, even though you were not at fault in any way. But I should stop thinking in this way, because you were not given up but merely taken care of by different parents. I will consider you a gift to them and they will help you grow up as a fine person.

Your mother loves you very much and has not given you up forever. I have chosen this way because I believe it is best for you. I will always pray for you and live with you in my heart. I hope that you will grow up healthy.

Like this? Want more?
preview
FILED UNDER:
Connect with Us
Follow Our Pins

Yummy recipes, DIY projects, home decor, fashion and more curated by iVillage staffers.

Follow Our Tweets

The very dirty truth about fashion internships... DUN DUN @srslytheshow http://t.co/wfewf

On Instagram

Behind-the-scenes pics from iVillage.

Best of the Web