Letting Him Down Easy

What's the best way to get a man off my heels and tell him I'm not interested? --changy

Question:

Dear Changy:

Too often we women "hint" and send a weak message in situations like this, mostly because we don't want to hurt anyone. The message becomes so diluted that the person we are telling it to does not know what we mean. In other words, you need to tell him you're not interested -- simply and straight out. Sound calm, poised and nonjudgmental. Do not lay blame. Simply say something like, "Thank you for our time together, but I'm no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with you." If he pushes and asks why, try to keep your answer short and simple. Something like, "I simply choose not to" may do the trick. If not, you may want to explain that you don't picture the two of you having a future or simply say that the relationship just doesn't feel right.

I know it's not easy to say such things, but think of it this way: Not being honest or clear is hurtful to the other person. We lead them on with "mixed" messages, which they often interpret with hope. This will only lead to further hurt. When you stop the cycle early, you're doing both of you a favor. Good luck!

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