Parents are the models for their children. When it comes to limit setting, the best teaching is by example. Stick to the rules you set for your children and for yourself. Be clear, consistent and reassuring. Demonstrate through your behavior that anger is a real part of life that you try to deal with through words, not explosions. You set a good example when you say "I am too angry right now to really deal with the consequences of what you did. We'll talk about it when we have all cooled off."
When you find that too often you are explosive or cannot stick by the rules, you may need outside help in order to set limits successfully. Get help from a spouse, a supportive friend or family member, Twinline or other agencies providing professional guidance.
-By Rachel Biale, L.C.S.W.
Reprinted with permission from Twin Services, Parent Education Series 300: #360, 1989. This article may be printed out for personal use but may not be reproduced in any other manner, including electronic, without prior written consent from Twin Services. For more information, call 510-524-0863.