Lindsay Lohan, Please Say You Did Not Just Choose Jail Over Rehab

We shouldn't be surprised, but the troubled actress rejected a plea bargain that required her to go to rehab instead of appearing in court

Seriously, Lindsay Lohan, why are you doing this to yourself? Faced with the prospect of yet another jail sentence, the troubled actress (remember when we could use other adjectives to describe her?) has reportedly rejected a plea bargain that would have kept her out of court -- but required her to go to rehab.

Though Lohan's lawyer has denied the reports, both TMZ and the Los Angeles Times claim that prosecutors were pushing for 30 to 90 days of rehab for Lohan. Without "meaningful rehab," a prosecution source told the Times, " she is not only a danger to herself but to the public, especially while driving."

But the actress, who is facing three misdemeanor charges and a possible probation violation, is reportedly unwilling to give rehab another shot. She has pleaded not guilty to the charges, and could now be headed to court.

Let's pause for a moment to discuss what crime Lindsay actually committed. At the moment, she's dealing with charges connected to her June 2012 car crash, including lying to the police, obstruction of justice, and reckless driving. Also, she's still on probation for her 2011 jewelry theft, hence the possible violation. And that's not even including her assault charge from November, which will be handled separately in the New York City court system. Everybody up to speed now?

So Lindsay doesn't want to go to rehab. She doesn't believe she did anything wrong (shocker!) and is willing to stand trial. Even so, her lawyer Mark Heller has submitted court documents urging the judge to dismiss or delay the case. Lohan, he says, has turned a corner.

"The Defendant has made a commitment to herself to elevate her life and participate in activities which will advance her desire to lead a model life," writes Heller. "Prior to our next meeting, Lindsay will gladly be participating in psychotherapy, submitting herself to regular screenings and contributing her time to the production of Public Service messages and periodic visits to schools, hospitals and other venues where she may provide inspirational talks, encouraging children to pursue positive goals and avoid bad habits."

Wow. Can you imagine any school asking Lindsay Lohan to come teach their kids about positive behavior?

Seriously, the legal system doesn't work like that. You can't get out of criminal charges by pinkie-swearing that you'll be really good from now on, and her lawyer knows it. That's why the letter seems like an act of total desperation. Heller says that Lindsay will do community service, therapy and regular drug screenings: three things that she's failed to complete under court order in the past. Lindsay has had her chance. She's had lots of chances. She's gone to jail. So far, nothing has worked.

There's just one thing left that she hasn't tried: an extended stay in rehab. Lohan has never fully committed to a long-term treatment plan, let alone the 90-day stay recommended by experts. Furthermore, she has never acknowledged she has a drug or alcohol problem, but it's tough to argue with the evidence. At this point, her self-destructive tendencies are getting downright scary. If Lindsay really wants to show us she's changed, she should skip the court date, go straight to a rehab center -- and not come out for at least three months.

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