Long-Distance Love: Making it Work
Dear Sherry:
I have recently (within the last two months) moved to a large city six hours away from my boyfriend of two and a half years. We have discussed him moving here. He says he will, eventually. I love him very much, and he, me very much. I understand he has things to take care of before he just packs up and goes. My problem is that I know no one, I live alone, and, well, I'm miserable without him here. What can I do to get over the blues until he comes (if he ever does)?
Terri
Sherry Amatenstein
Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more
Dear Terri:
Try to think of this period of your life, not as the equivalent of dropping into the black hole of Calcutta, but rather as if you're embarking on a great adventure. And you are. It shows guts and ambition to move away from everything familiar to an environment where you're an outsider. (My advice columnist antenna intuits that there was a great job offer you couldn't pass up.)
Of course you miss your boyfriend. Of course you fear he'll never join you. But you have a fabulous opportunity to see whether he's the man you really want to be with forever. And, most importantly, to learn to know yourself better as "Terri," not "Terri and ..." Get out there: Sightsee, attend lectures, go to museums and plays, do volunteer work for a cause you believe in. Basically, explore your new hometown and be open to forming new friendships.
Naturally, you're going through a tough adjustment period, but there are wonderful potential benefits to your new situation. And look on the bright side: When you and your boyfriend visit each other, you'll have the opportunity to prove the old adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
