Looking at Tantalizing Food and Sex Images Will Make You Fat and Slutty

If you want to stay slim and virtuous, do not look at these pictures

Warning: Do not click on this image or this image. Doing so will make you go on a feeding frenzy and/or humping spree for the next six months. And that’s not just our lousy opinion -- researchers say it is so, so you know it’s got to be true.

According to a study in The Journal of Neuroscience, some women have brains that light up like a fireworks display at the mere sight of food or erotic imagery. You know how it goes: You see a commercial for Ho-Hos, and the next day you’re hitting up every store looking for the damn snack cake. Or, your boyfriend makes sure to come over to watch Mad Men with you, because every single time Don Draper gets naughty with his new wife, which is pretty much every episode, you are inexplicably and insatiably frisky.

Well, if this phenomenon describes you, you’d better watch it, girlfriend, because these little glimpses of fleshly or foodie porn can make you overindulge not just that day, or the next day, but for six whole months afterwards! Yikes. Researchers found that the susceptible women who looked at food images were more likely to gain weight in that time period, while those who stared at nudie shots were more likely to get busy in the bedroom. In other words, unless you start wearing blinders -- which we are actually considering right now -- all the images that assail you on a daily basis are going to make you fat, saddle sore and pretty darn popular around town. Why, if that doesn’t paint a portrait of a certain former president with a penchant for McDonald’s and interns, we don’t know who it describes. While the study was only done on women, we think the scientists would find that just about every guy is wired the same way.

If you’ll excuse us now, all this talk about food and sex has us hungry for some Ryan Gosling cupcakes. If these don't ruin your diet, we're pretty sure nothing will.

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