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If you're a sleep-deprived new parent, there's a pretty good chance that you've never heard Lorde's 2013 hit "Royals." Actually, unless you're a teen mom, we're betting you might not even know who Lorde is. (Quickly: 17-year-old pop star whose number one hit was considered by many to be the song of the year.)
If you're not familiar, turn off the Laurie Berkner or Dan Zanes CD you've been playing for baby and listen. And then, listen to this spot-on-amazing rewrite that tired parents Josh Stearns and Erica Carlson, titled "Rested" (as in "we'll never be rested" instead of "we'll never be royals") put together.
Consider Lorde's lyrics:
But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom
Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room
We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams.
But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece
Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair.
And now Stearns' and Carlson's:
And every minute’s like diapers, Thomas, splashin’ in the bathtub
Juice stains, snack traps, screamin’ in the minivan
They don’t care, we can’t remember the last time we dreamed
But everybody’s like swaddles, white noise, sleeping with your baby
Warm milk, rocking, let them cry it out now
We don't care, we haven't slept in a couple of years.
As a mom of two kids who pretty much never sleep through the night, I'm bowing down to the brilliance of this hit song hack. And guessing that the creative duo behind it finally have good sleepers of their own -- or else they never would have had the energy to make this.
Listen to the full song and read the hilarious lyrics here!