If all were right in the world, there would be no war, money would grow on trees, I'd have my very own hair and makeup person on staff, and Luke Perry would come back to the new 90210.
Unfortunately, it doesn't look like any of those things are going to happen.
According to Access Hollywood's Billy Bush, it doesn't seem like Luke's brooding Dylan McKay will be pulling up a stool at The Peach Pit anytime soon.
"It's just not something that I've thought about to be quite honest," my love said. "I don't see it happening."
BOOOOO! Just give the people what they want!
But, of course, Luke wishes former co-stars Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling nothing but the best on their return to the zip code.
"I wish them a lot of luck. I hope they have a lot of success with it," he said.
Fine. Be that way. And I suppose I'll have to blow dry my own hair, too?