Mariah Carey Celebrates Her Twins' First Birthday: Look at the Crazy Presents!

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon said they were going to do "something special and something unique" for the first birthday of their twins Monroe and Moroccan. They did.

The proud parents posted pics of an over-the-top celebration held in Paris on the tots' website, DemBabies.com, where you can see Mama Mariah playing on the floor with the twins, dresesd in a ball gown and dripping in diamonds.

But even more distracting than the entire family in head-to-toe ivory is the kids' first birthday haul. For making it all the way to twelve months old, Monroe and Moroccan were treated to some serious loot including a wooden rocking horse, a charming pink doll house (that looks to have greater detailing and finer craftsmanship than my actual house), and of course a candy apple red, pint-size Ferrari. (They probably do get tired of crawling from one end of the Cannon mansion to the other.)

Compare all of that, to say, the albums from either of my children's first birthday parties. I'm not in a single picture, of course, because I was either taking the shots or dashing around the house trying to find a book of matches, but trust me I was not wearing a satin evening gown. My children are slightly ratty looking (from being too jacked up on frosting to nap), and covered with said frosting from ears to elbows. The house is a wrapping-paper dusted disaster. Their gifts include stackable plastic rings and a spiral bound copy of Pat the Bunny. There are several crying kids, a few tipsy adults and one unhappy dog locked in the side yard. The only thing vaguely Parisian about any of it may have been a few muttered obscenities followed by, "Pardon my French!"

I sort of worry that maybe Mariah and Nick set the bar a tiny bit high this year. At this rate, Monroe and Moroccan will be unwrapping a baby grand, a pair of thoroughbreds and matching Ferrari SpA hybrids (price tag: a cool 850 grand a piece) by their tenth birthday. I'm practicing my "life's not fair" speech already.

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