Marriage and Money: Expert Advice

Problem: Marriage, House and Baby -- All at Once

"I am so impressed with my friend, but at the same time am worried for him. He met a gal, three months later she got pregnant and two months later they got married and bought a house. Now that I look at their situation, I'm thinking that it probably would be better if my husband and I did everything at the same time. I know, it's easier said than done, but it seems to be working for them. My question is, how will all the major events affect them in the long run with love, marriage and finances?" --chilifries

Everyone is different. Perhaps, if your friend was able to get a house and have a baby at the same time, money was not a major issue for the couple. Maybe your friend already had been saving money, and thus, the new house doesn't necessarily present a stressful situation. If they communicate well with each other and both are willing to give to the relationship and compromise, it's certainly possible that everything could work out fine.

It is true, though, that lack of money is a chief cause of arguments in relationships, and having a child definitely can put stress on a relationship. So, we give you a tremendous amount of credit for realizing early on the impact of these monumental events, and for coming up with a methodical long-term plan to relieve some of the chief stresses surrounding both. We also both can testify that when a husband and wife both work toward a common goal -- saving to buy the house you want or building a financial cushion for a child, it is that much more of a romantic and happy occasion when you finally achieve those goals.

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