Married-Speak for "I Love You"

Yes, of course I love all that hearts and flowers stuff. But this year, instead of a box of chocolates, a dozen roses, or a romantic dinner a deux, I am hoping and hinting for an expression of my Valentine’s feelings that’ll have a longer shelf life than a carton of yogurt.

So honey, if you’re reading this, don’t bother saying it with flowers. And forget cheesy proclamations of undying love and devotion. Just liberally sprinkle these handy phrases throughout our day-to-day life; in married-speak, each translates loud and clear to “I love you”:

“That’s all you bought?”

“Those pants make you look too thin.”

“You wear make-up? Why?”

“I totally agree. You can never have too many handbags/shoes/earrings.”

“I’m just going to raise the thermostat.”

“What gorgeous blonde/brunette/redhead?”

“Try to spend a little more this month.”

“I have to wear a jacket and tie? Terrific!”

“Let’s go to the jewelry store.”

“You are so right. About everything.”

PS: And now a special shout out to my Valentine:
I love you, honey! (Whoops, I mean, “Of course your parents can come and stay for a month!” and ”Wow. Look at your muscles!")

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