We Don't Know What Martha's Eating ... But It's Not a Good Thing!

According to her Twitpics, Martha Stewart is eating some really revolting food these days.

Martha Stewart dines at some of the finest restaurants in the world and she’s no slouch in the kitchen, but you wouldn’t know it from the Twitpics she takes of her meals. In fact, some of these photos are so awful, she manages to make the fanciest of dishes look like swampy gloop. Finally, proof that The Martha isn’t perfect!

Are Those Scabs?

Or maybe a can of old, moldy cream-of-grody soup? If this picture could talk, it would say, “glop.”


Freaky Eggs

Martha’s fried eggs look like an insect alien face. Unless it’s a Rorschach test, and then we see Kermit the Frog.


Lettuce Pray…

I’m not sure a gallon of creamy oozing stuff is going to save that sad iceberg lettuce. Note the mysterious mud-covered chunks in background, too.


This Makes Us Cry

Martha paired her oozing iceberg wedge with this muddy pond water, or as she calls it, “onion soup.”


Suspicious Bubbles

Either flavored foams are still a thing, or Martha is secretly washing dishes during dinner.


Is This Paleo?

It reminds us of meat that someone hung up to dry in a creepy shed. Or maybe it’s tree bark. But, you know, served over butter pasta.


Bacon!

Martha swears that there’s bacon in there. It must be somewhere under the milky grape stew.


Filter Fail

Weird photo effects make the uncooked shrimp in this paella look like beetles. And just like that, Martha makes us hate paella.


Shady Shorties

These are short ribs. Let’s hope they weren’t actually this gelatinous and blobby in real life. Maybe she was eating in low light for a good reason.


Pix First!

Mar? Did you eat half of your margarita pizza before remembering to take the photo? Not sure that’s how it’s supposed to go, hun.

Jessica Dukes is a working mom of two. You can find her, Google+ on Twitter and Pinterest.

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