Ready to learn some new tricks -- just for you? If you are among the seasoned players when it comes to solo sexual pleasuring, this is your chance to craft your own personal style, polish up your pleasure groove and learn how to make your private touch time even better.
Here are a few guidelines to get you started, then we'll move on to moves that you'll really enjoy. The main ingredient for advanced masturbation is the use of accessories. Also, solo time doesn't have to become a thing of the past once you become a couple. Using masturbation as a prime for your pump, an escape from the tensions and demands of daily life or as a prelude to time with your hunk may be just what the sex doctor ordered.
1. Set the stageIf you are a veteran of sexual self-touch, then you know that creating the right mood is critical for experiencing as much pleasure as possible. That means allowing yourself some private time, relaxing, shutting out the outside world and adding the right accouterments for sensuality to flourish. You may want to wear a special velvet robe, play certain CDs that evoke M time (The Titanic soundtrack still does it for me) or burn incense and candles. Create a special ritual for yourself. Then experiment, or add to it, making the experience as sensual as possible.
2. Explore your fantasy sideMost guys will tell you that it's easy to fantasize. They do it about every seven seconds (possibly more if the appropriate visual object walks by!). But women don't feel as much permission to think sexy thoughts and sometimes find it difficult to conjure up ideas, stories or images of people they lust for. As a sex coach, I always suggest that my clients think of a movie star who gets them going. (Did someone mention Russell Crowe or Mel Gibson?) You can try this, too. Think about your favorite Hollywood hunk or steamy movie -- and make it personal. What would you do with that character if you were the leading lady? Where? How would it happen? Would it be slow and romantic or fast and passionate? Which body part of yours would he love the most? Ask yourself all of these questions and more. Let your imagination run wild.
Erotic or self-help videos can be great sources of new inspiration as well. Many companies are even producing women-friendly erotica now. At Websites like www.royalle.com or www.yoursexcoach.com, you'll find instructional teaching videos (Ancient Secrets of the Kama Sutra or Nina Hartleys' sex education series) and classic porn with a tasteful new look and feel. Both offer titillating scenes sure to please.
3. Prepare for takeoffGetting ready for solo sex can require some prep time -- and a shopping spree. If you've never purchased sex accessories before, buying online is the most discreet way to go. Websites such as www.yoursexcoach.com, www.mypleasure.com, www.libida.com, www.evesgarden.com, etc., carry everything, including lubes, lotions, erotica, videos, vibrators, dildos and other tools. In fact, I suggest setting up a tool kit with the basics: a personal lubricant, such as Astroglide; a massage lotion or oil, such as the incredible-edible Kama Sutra line; an external vibrator, such as Hitachi Magic Wand or the hand-held type that resembles a hair blow dryer; and insertable objects that fill the vagina or probe the G-spot, such as the Hitachi blue attachment or penis-shaped dildos made of silicone, hard rubber or acrylic.
If you're looking for advanced gadgets, you might add something small and portable to your collection, like the Pocket Rocket. At the other end of the spectrum are more complex tools that stimulate the clitoris while being inserted into the vagina simultaneously, such as the Rabbit Pearl or the Woodsman. Some toys, like the Butterfly, even come with remote controls. For those who have a taste for anal exploration, there are beads, probes and vibrating devices to stimulate this often-maligned part of the body.
No matter which one you choose, sexual aids can promise greater and steadier intensity than you'd get from human touch (alone or with a partner). They may even do the trick for creating a first-time orgasm.
4. Push the love buttonIn over 25 years of clinical research, I've found that most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Many women also need something inside of their vagina, to give them a sense of fullness. That's why a combination might be your best bet for total pleasure. For this step, choose your favorite sexual aid to insert, while using your other hand (or another aid) to rub or vibrate over, under, around or on the clitoral body.
Whether you choose to use your fingers exclusively or add a toy, the love button of your clitoris is your best bet for maximal pleasure. Need a quick primer on other pleasure zones? Read Masturbation 101.
5. Change is goodYou may want to alternate using an external vibrator over your pubic mound (mons veneris) and an internal vibrator in your vagina, such as the ergonomic brand from Natural Contours. Be careful never to overstimulate or to use an intense motorized toy too long on your delicate clitoral head or over the urinary opening. Although using vibrators can intensify your pleasure, be careful not to numb yourself out or, worse, damage nerve conduction. Take frequent breaks and use vibrators sparingly if you find yourself becoming overly dependent or losing sensation. Alternating with your own fingers inside can be a great mixture for increasing pleasure and decreasing the likelihood of harm.
Just as with coupled sex, there is nothing sweeter than changing positions. To do this, try the new line of Bedroom Adventure Gear, www.liberatorshapes.com, which promotes different body angles for solo or shared pleasure. Experiment with kneeling, standing, side positioning and other wild contortions (never do anything that produces any pain) to feel the new sensations that your bedroom athletics can evoke.
Sources of sex accessories:
www.evesgarden.comWatch Video: Types of Orgasms