Masturbation: Overcoming Inhibitions
I'm 23 and I have never touched my private area because of fear. I heard masturbating is very satisfying, and I would like to try it. Can you give me tips or tools to help me get started? --G
Question:Dear G:
You are not alone. Despite all the buzz about solo sex, many women do not deliberately masturbate. Women, like men, deserve to have their pleasure by their own hands (or whatever else they can add to the process), especially since research shows that masturbation is the foundation for good partner sex and is in itself a wonderful outlet (to release sexual tension or just plain relax). That outlet is one to be explored, celebrated and cherished.
There are two renowned paperback books on the subject that I suggest you read pronto: Sex for One by Dr. Betty Dodson and For Yourself by Dr. Lonnie Barbach. Both authors are trusted, expert sexologists who have conducted workshops for women over the years and have written about their findings. Betty also has developed teaching tapes on masturbation and female sexuality, which are available at her site (www.bettydodson.com). I particularly recommend that you watch Celebrating Orgasm, in which she works individually with a range of women, coaching them through solo sex to orgasmic satisfaction.
One of the best videos on the topic is available from Pacific Media Entertainment (800-262-7367). It's called Masturbation Memoirs and includes a variety of women showing their sexual masturbation patterns. It also features a performance artist who gives an award-winning monologue about women and their bodies that will knock your socks off.
Once they are off (your socks and your inhibitions, that is), I suggest that you explore your genitals with your hands and a hand-held mirror. Find out what's down there, and learn to love it. Then touch yourself with different strokes, using varied intensities and in all the places possible to the point of orgasm. This will help you to develop a map of your own sexual landscape. Once you do that, you will be able to tell or show a partner how you like to be touched. I like to think that each of us has a sexual fingerprint, so learn yours well. Then you will have yourself as your own lifelong lover and be able to share that with a special someone when you choose.
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