From Matched to Detached: Handling Electronic Break Ups

But my favorite rejection of all time came from a guy who took issue with my family's multiculturalism. I had told him that my brother, who is adopted, is Sioux; that my brother-in-law's cousin is married to a Puerto Rican woman; and that the family includes Jews, Catholics, Protestants and atheists, with the result that December is a happy anarchy of holidays celebrated, as it were, across party lines.

"It all sounds very interesting," he wrote in his reply, "but I think it's more than I can handle."

Well... if a white guy doesn't want to date this white woman because she has a non-white relative, best for me to know that at the earliest opportunity. That's the beauty of cyber-dating, in fact. Connecting with people via online dating services speeds not only the process of finding people who are right for you, but also the process of eliminating people who aren't.

Still, he did it the right way. He didn't just stop replying to my emails. He didn't resort to that tired, obvious ploy of announcing that quite suddenly he'd met someone else on the internet and had decided to pursue a relationship with her. (You'll always get caught on that one -- your profile's still here, isn't it?) He just let me know we were incompatible. And he was right -- about that.

There are a lot of people here in this community. You can find many who are right for you, but you'll meet a few who aren't along the way. When you meet them, be polite but honest about your disinterest. Remember, you may need someone to return the favor sometime!

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