If you're like a lot of women, you rely on your friends for continuous ‑- perhaps endless ‑- feedback on your love life. But wouldn't it be great if you could get advice about dating from someone who helps people fall in love for a living? Ladies, Samantha Daniels is your gal. She has forged a (very successful) career as a professional matchmaker ‑- and has played Cupid with all kinds of people who have inspired the characters in Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker. So in lieu of sitting by your side to answer all of your dating questions, Daniels offers up 25 things you should keep in mind in your quest for the one.
1.There is no "supposed to" in dating.
2.Excuses don't get you anywhere. If you want to meet someone, you need to be proactive and try to meet someone.
3.Evaluate your friends and make sure they enhance, not detract from, your ability to meet people of the opposite sex. It is okay to have certain friends who you socialize with and other friends who you go to the movies or watch football with.
4.Men trade on their money and women trade on their looks. This is a fact of dating. If you got it, use it!
5.But just because you look good from afar does not mean you will always get a second date. Work hard to be charming up close and personal as well.
6.If you date a workaholic, self-centered jerk who is not willing to try to change, you will be married to a workaholic, self-centered jerk.
7.All single people suck at dating. You are not alone.
8.In most instances, no good comes out of sex on a first date, except a little sexual pleasure (and that's what a vibrator is for). Don't do it.
9.Men will date women who remind them of a sibling or family member even if they are not their usual type.
10.Your best guy friend will become your acquaintance once he marries another woman, so if you are attracted to him, go for it, and don't worry about preserving the friendship.
11.Don't test your date on a date. This is not school.
12.Don't be self-critical on your date. How is someone else going to like you if you don't seem to like yourself?
13.Indecision is a big turnoff. If you can't make decisions for one, how will you make decisions for a family?
14.Even beautiful, sexy women get nervous before dates.
15.If you are rude to waitstaff, your dates will think it's just a matter of time before you are equally rude to them.
16.Height requirements might be stopping you from meeting your guy. What would be so bad if your Prince Charming was five foot seven?
17.Serial monogamists can be worse than players because they will lead you on by getting into a real relationship with you only to break up with you because they have a fear of commitment.
18.You get invited, you go; that's what my grandmother taught me.
19.It usually takes three seasons, sometimes four, to determine if a person is appropriate for you for the long term.
20.If you find someone who has 85 percent of the things you want in a mate, run ‑- don't walk ‑- to the altar.
21.If you are always looking for the bigger, better deal, you might miss the person standing in front of you.
22.Never give up on love.
23.Women love to obsess over men. They love to call half a dozen friends and repeat the same story over and over to get different reads on the circumstance. They continue to do this until they hear an interpretation they like.
24.If you don't make changes in the way you live your life, nothing will change.
25.Once you fall for someone, you will be surprised by how many "must-haves" will fall out the window.
From Matchbook by Samantha Daniels. Copyright © 2005 by Samantha's Table LLC. Reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Plus: Samantha Daniels offers her advice on first date fashion