The Britney Interview

I don't know about you guys, but I got such a kick out of the Britney interview. A few things to mention…

    The outfit: What the hell? She's crying that she wants to be left alone – flying under the radar -- then she appears in the most inappropriate and revealing outfit ever. Her boobs were beyond the point of distraction. I seriously kept watching for slippage – a la Janet Jackson. The bright, hot pink maternity bra? Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't showing. I gotta tell ya -- little modesty goes a long way. The rest of the outfit wasn't better – the skirt was ridiculously short. And no wonder she almost dropped her bobblehead baby in NYC that day – her shoes were treacherous -- and that's coming from a heel-or-nuthin' girl.

    Hair & makeup: I think the best way I heard Britney look described was a Tammy Faye Baker… with waterproof mascara. There was a big black thing on her right eye that was almost as distracting as her breasts. She's a pretty girl, so I'm not sure what happened. Maybe she was trying to save a few bucks by doing her own hair and makeup? Not the best idea. And the hair! From the back, it was so twisted and knotted. It was such Bon Jovi circa 1988.

    The "country" factor: Okay, the whole car seat incident… Her excuse was the worst ever. She's country? Listen, I lived in West Virginia for 5 years and I never saw people driving down the street -- let alone a highway -- with their babies on their laps. That's insulting – she's dumbing down "country" folks. And not for nothing, but "country bumpkin" Britney started living in major cities in like 1990, when she started spending her summers in Manhattan. I don't even think it's fair for her to play the "country" card. She should have just said "It was really stupid of me" and moved on.

    What she said: This girl is so seasoned when it comes to giving interviews – she's an international superstar -- but last night she was using the Katie Holmes vocabulary: "It's amazing" and "Words can't describe it." I wanted to shout: Words can describe it – that's why we use them. My favorite line was when she said she's an emotional wreck right now… then she goes: "Not in a bad way." Didn't realize there was such a thing as a good emotional wreck.

    The tears: Britney definitely won some sympathy points with the tears. I get that she says she wants to be left alone. It must be really hard to have 20 paparazzi following you every time you leave the house. I can't imagine. You should see me when I have to go throw my garage out – fright sight. Or on the way to the gym – not so cute. But two minutes after she turns on the tears, she's talking about a clothing line she wants to launch. That she wants you and me to pay money for. She wants stardom – and our dollars – but on her terms… and that's not necessarily the way fame works.

I don't think Britney is a bad mother – I agree with her there. I think she's just a new mom, navigating her way through motherhood. I'm sure it's hard – and to do it in the spotlight is even harder. But fame isn't a button that can be turned on and off. She knows that. She's known it from the start – as did her mother, who helped build this career. And she's made a lot of money from it – last night Matt said she's worth about $100 million. She needs to spend some of that money to pull herself together. I suggest hiring a divorce lawyer, a stylist to purchase clothes that cover her body, a driver so there won't be any other driving incidents, and hair and makeup artists. And if she really wants to be out of the limelight, she needs to move to like Barboursville, West Virginia, buy a house on a quiet street and try living a "normal" life. But she'll never do it. She loves fame way too much.

Disagree or agree with me below...

PS: Do you really think she didn't know how far along she is? All my pregnant friends know how far they are to the week -- like "I'm 23 weeks today." Britney doesn't even know what month? Puh-leez. If she didn't want to tell him, she should have just said: "I prefer not to say, Matt." Better than: "I don't know [giggle, giggle]."

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