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Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly:
"My first relationship with an older woman
Of course, the issue of "Will I want children later on?" has become a less significant challenge to a relationship between older women and younger men than it has been in the past. In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women. Pregnancy at ages once reserved for "miracles" is now a medical possibility.
Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced.
"I got more of a reaction from men than women. The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her. They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn't have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly. And women my age disapproved of the relationship.
"Every morning, I would wake up happy and feel like I had the world on a string. I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something
Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is not as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers:
"Friends and colleagues all admired my decision to have a relationship with a mature woman. They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person. Most people's reactions have been good. There have been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my head. Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice."
The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and comfort, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded. But more than any other advantage, they talked about the positive sexual relationships they experienced. They all commented that sex with older women was better.
"Negatives? What negatives? I cried, I laughed, I went back for more. The advantages can be summed up in two words: intense marathon."
"Advantages of having sex with an older woman? Are you kidding? An older woman is more sure of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner. I like not having to worry about pregnancy and an unwanted child. I do not feel the desire to have one and the lack of anxiety over that issue is relieving. Lisa is also in her prime and we have the most intense sexual relations I have ever had."
"The biggest advantage is that they know what they want so there's no guesswork. You may try to please them and they'll tell you if it isn't working. I loved it. That's a turn on. Absolutely no negatives about sex? it was the best. The best!"
"Phenomenal! The sex was important
"I learned how to make love to a woman. She took me by the hand and said, 'Slow down.' I mean, I was 20
"The only reason I'm interested in young women is strictly physical
"In a relationship, there is an intellectual component, a grounding component and a physical component. The physical is very important for a man? the sexual side is a big thing. It makes sense when you think about it? the greatest sex in my life has been with older partners. Even when it's early in the relationship, it's still much deeper."
Fred, who was mentioned earlier, expressed his own fulfillment: "Although my initial fear was that I wouldn't be good enough sexually, my larger fear was that I'd overwhelm her
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