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File this under "Who knows what goes on in the minds of men?"
AskMen.com just released its annual "99 Most Desirable Women" list. The editors had asked readers to "look beyond sex appeal and beauty to pick women who have the characteristics they value in a potential companion, like intelligence, humor, charisma, and ambition." On the face of it, this was no mere excuse to ogle bikini models, but a chance to define "what modern men desire most in their female companions." Who did the six-million-plus voters choose?
Topping the list: Jessica Alba, at number five, because she "gave birth to a baby girl, Honor Marie, in 2008 and still has the same smoking figure she had from the Dark Angel days."
Alessandra Ambrosio, at number four, because she "wore lingerie made entirely of candy for the 2005 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show." (Uh, four years later you're still fantasizing about that, guys?)
Kate Beckinsale, at number three, because "the former Oxford University literature student who speaks three languages (English, French and Russian) also looks great in rubber catsuits in the Underworld flicks."
Marisa Miller, number two, because she "ran a surf school in California before becoming a serious model" and "appeared on the cover of the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition sans bikini top."
And at number one? Entourage's Emmanuelle Chriqui. Why? "Precisely because we don't know her, which is a rarity in the paparazzi-infested 21st century. Chriqui is reminiscent of Old Hollywood glamour in the sense that the only glimpses we see of her personal life exist on red carpets."
Okay, I think we get it. The most desirable women are stunners who look good in lingerie. So what if we can't tell (depsite editors' attempts to steer voters toward non-superficial criteria) whether many of the top picks are "intelligent," "charismatic" or "humorous"? What's mind-boggling is the placement of other famous names. Saturday Night Live's Target Lady, Kristen Wiig, placed 86th, two notches "more desirable" on the list than the woman who ranked 88th: perennially photogenic Angelina Jolie! (Jolie dropped precipitously from her number 42 spot last year -- seems like the charity-minded mother of six is igniting fewer testosterone-fueled fantasies this year.)
But cheer up, Angelina. Even the woman many in the media called your younger, hotter, and more single doppelgänger in 2009 lost some standing: Megan Fox tumbled from her perch at number two last year to number 11 this year. As one AskMen.com commenter posted: "Enjoy your time at the top, girls, as a hottie is born every second."
Who would you expect to win the vote for Hollywood's "Most Desirable Woman"? Chime in below!