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I have what I like to call "momnesia." I know it's an impressively witty term for someone who can barely remember her neighbor’s name to think up. It's similar to terms you may have already heard, such as "baby brain" or "preg head," which both describe the phenomenon that occurs during pregnancy -- and through the first six months after childbirth -- in which the new mother is -- well, stupid. I too, am stupid, but it’s been six years since I last gave birth.
You forget to return phone calls, and leave your child’s lunchbox in the fridge. You find a credit card in your pocket the day after you finally decided to cancel it. You lock your infant in your car while it’s still running. You throw your good sunglasses in the bin after a Disney show and wear the 3-D glasses on your head for the next three hours. Sound familiar?
There is no expiration date on momnesia. In fact, I believe the more kids you have, the dumber you become. I lose my thoughts, my keys, the ability to whip out names of famous people for references in witty banter. Friends are stood up, meetings are missed, and appointments are remembered only after a reminder call (if I think to check my messages). I can run into a room with such purpose but when I arrive, I just stand there and stare, trying to figure out why I went there in the first place.
If you relate to these symptoms, than you, too, have momnesia. And you seriously have some issues. I would recommend a good therapist, but I only see mine once a month, and therefore cannot remember his name. However, I do get a lovely call from his office every couple weeks letting me know that I have missed an appointment and owe him a hefty chunk of change. Which seems a bit ironic considering most of what we talk about is my inability to keep thoughts and, ahem, appointments in my head.
Jenny Isenman is an iVoice on iVillage and writes about everything from her daughter's bout with apple juice addiction to how to get rid of cellulite on her blog The Suburban Jungle. Follow Jenny on Twitter @suburbanjungle.