Mothering yourself

If you have concerns about finances, loss of your previous lifestyle, or the blending of family and career, you are among a fast-growing group of women. Your concerns are real and need to be addressed. Joining a support group and making daily entries in your journal will help you work through your fears. Sharing your anxieties with your partner and other women who are experiencing similar mid-life changes can make the difference between postpartum depression and a healthy adjustment in your community. Plan now to join a support group for mothers after your baby is born.

Freedom and Commitment in Motherhood

Working through your mixed feelings about becoming a mother is an important part of your journey. A friend once said to me that freedom and commitment are differentiated only by a verb; freedom is choice and commitment is to make a choice. You have made the choice to mother. Making choices is an inevitable part of growing up. Freedom becomes meaningless without commitment, and the choice to mother can be a profoundly rewarding commitment. Honor your feelings and remember that your ability to make such an important life decision means you can create meaning in your life. Write down your personal reasons for choosing motherhood. Take time to consider your feelings and thoughts about this decision. Remember that ambivalence is a natural part of commitment.

Some of these reasons will be easy for you to write down, while other thoughts and feelings may be difficult to express in words. You may wish to come back to this list after you have experienced motherhood. Your decision to have a child will become increasingly meaningful to you in the years ahead, as you learn and grow with your baby, your child, and eventually your adolescent.

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