Finding Time Alone with One
No attempt to treat multiples as individuals is complete without finding some one-on-one time for each. Eden Bird of New Rochelle, N.Y., has two sets of twin daughters, ages six and two, and would love to have more time to spend with them individually. "I don't want them to have to compete to get my undivided attention," says Bird.
Parents need to find a systematic way of spending individual time with their children even if the children want to stick together, says Betty Rothbart, author of Multiple Blessings (Hearst). Even simple tasks, such as grocery shopping, can be an opportunity to take turns spending time alone with a child.
"You want them to feel like individuals," Rothbart says. "They don't have to do everything together just because they're triplets."
Bird had stressed her older twins' individuality by putting them in different kindergartens. In preschool, they had been together. But from different kindergartens, they brought home different projects and had different things to tell about their day at school. The result was more one-on-one time at home because discussing school wasn't a "group project" anymore.