My medical condition is killing my sex drive!
Dear Dr. Patti:
I've had a chronic disease for over ten years now which has rendered my libido virtually dead. My husband and I have been married 19 years. He says that he understands, but I am afraid having almost no sex will ruin our marriage. Do you have any suggestions?
S
Question:Dear S:
Your libido is being held hostage by your medical conditions. As I do not know what your condition is, it's difficult for me to suggest remedies. For starters, though, know that you are still able to enjoy some forms of pleasure with your body, alone or with your husband. He seems like a wonderful guy to have endured your challenges and stuck through it with you.
Although there are many libido-enhancing products on the market today, such as Viagra or its homeopathic alternative, Vigorex Forte/Femme (see "Early Hysterectomy Removed My Sex Drive"), whether these drugs work is contingent on your physiology and condition. Your sex drive is often fueled by testosterone (which occurs naturally in both men and women); perhaps you need to seek professional help from your gynecologist to experiment with supplementation.
Believe it or not, according to some national surveys on marital bonds, sex ranks quite low compared with issues such as trust, communication, shared interests and values. When that's not working, however, it certainly pops up to the top of the list. Some couples find that their foundation of love-and-like is sufficient for a marriage to grow without sexual contact. Others recognize that this type of intimacy is essential for growth and shared sustenance. It's up to the two of you to decide what's right for you. Then craft a plan and stick to it. Your first step is to talk openly and honestly with your mate. Ask him what he wants, needs and would like to have happen to change your marital lovemaking patterns. Be open to exploring ideas that may sound wild, weird or foreign. If all else fails, then the two of you might consider making an appointment to speak to a qualified sex therapist to assist you in designing a realistic program for enhancement. Videos, books and tapes exist to help you along your path. Be okay with yourself just the way you are -- even if that's all that's possible -- and enjoy every moment of pleasure you and your honey can share.
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