I'm back. And being the ever intelligent man I (think I) am, I believe I have finally figured out my wife (a.k.a. the film Nazi)'s "Guide to Movies 4 Men:"
1)It’s a chick flick. You’ll hate it.
Translation A: It’s too (pick one) hot, cold, or humid to play golf or tennis, shop, or write my blog.
Translation B: I’m going with my friends to the movies because it’s going to take two hours for my nails to dry.
Translation C: Stop whining, you’ll see it when it’s out on DVD.
2)It’s a mockumentary. You’ll hate it.
Translation: You’ll never get the subtle humor in this.
(EDITORIAL COMMENT FROM MOI: He did hate Christopher Guest's "A Mighty Wind" so I went ahead and rented "Waiting for Guffman" when he wasn't home.)
3)I read the book and I really think you’ll hate it.
Translation: My sister is coming to visit today, and she really wants to see this movie without her husband.
(EDITORIAL COMMENT FROM MOI: I did read "Running with Scissors" and knew he would hate the movie and guess what, he came anyway, and did (hate it). I know my customer.)
You see, what’s really not fair is that we guys put it out front, and you ladies don’t. When the football game is on TV, it’s our way of telling you it’s OK to spend the next couple of hours on the phone. (Please not at the mall). But guys can’t always rely on movie titles or even (paid) critics’ reviews to figure out if a particular movie is entertainment we’d like to share with our spouse.
And ladies, I intend to share this with my similarly ostrasized male brethren.