New Mom Syndrome

I am 28 years old, have been married three years and have a four-month-old son. I am having a terrible time coping with his fussy moments, which seem to be a lot. I am not a patient person, and I get angry easily. I hate when he fusses. At those times, I cry, get mad and do not want to be a mom anymore. It hurts me a lot to feel this way, and I do not want to continue the rest of my life like this. I want to change but do not know how. I keep wondering when the joys of motherhood are going to hit. I love my son with all my heart, and when he smiles at me, I melt. That is why the hard times hurt me so much.

I have spoken with my medical doctor, who has put me on the new drug Celexa to help me with those tense moments. I hope it helps. It is the worst feeling ever to love your son and want to like being his mom. Please help.


Robert Schwebel

Clinical psychologist Robert Schwebel, PhD, has been in private practice for almost 30 years, counseling children, couples and... Read more

You give this problem a good name: New Mom Syndrome. No doubt you are tired from lack of sleep. Like all parents, you wonder and worry about doing it right. There are new financial pressures on your family, new roles to learn. Probably there is a new division of labor. There is also less time and energy for recreation. Your romantic life is likely affected. Small wonder so many parents are flustered and overwhelmed. That is why many parents wonder what they have gotten themselves into. Sometimes, the resentment trickles over toward the new baby.

We parents need to work hard to get a grip. What support do you have? Is your husband helping with parenting chores and around the house? Are you getting support from friends and family? You said you are not a patient person and get angry easily. Your son needs you to be patient and loving. Perhaps it is time for you to work on that. If you can get lots of support and a little time for yourself too, I think the joys of parenthood will start hitting full force soon. Do not forget--you have some of the feelings already. Remember that you said: "I love my son with all my heart, and when he smiles at me, I melt."

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