New moms: Six ways to seize the moment now

4. We Must Be Idle. Do you even remember what that means? It means that we must be willing to sit in a chair, daydreaming or whatever, so that we are ready and able to recognize a wonderful opportunity, like unexpected sex or your preteen's sudden willingness to share confidences. Who knows? Maybe nothing will happen and you'll sit alone in that chair till you fall asleep. That's even better, since a nap is one of Sophia Loren's greatest beauty secrets. But if you, like me, are too overamped to sit quietly in anticipation of a spectacular Mommy moment, try needlepoint, read a book, or file your nails until something more pressing presents itself. Just let go of the "completion complex" connected to the activity so that you don't miss some great conversation or an impromptu Ping-Pong game because your topcoat hasn't dried.

5. We Must Always Remember: We Are Not Steering This Ship. We moms don't ask for much, just CONTROL, CONTROL, CONTROL over our families' lives. No Girlfriend is ever really able to say she has her groove back if it depends on life abiding by her plans. That's the kicker in life-we can prepare up to a point, and then Mother Nature will toss a monkey-wrench into them and our grooviness depends on how able we are to adjust and change tacks. Too often, we fight change and refuse to acknowledge it. We may have a family illness thrown at us, but we don't cut ourselves any slack for grief or disappointment, let alone for the fact that we don't seem to be able to remember to touch up the roots of our hair. We may experience a financial blow, but we don't let our kids in on the quandary, and instead, we kill ourselves trying to create an atmosphere of "business as usual." We frantically rush around, taking a second job, getting another mortgage on the house, and putting a moratorium on frivolous things like getting our teeth capped or keeping our gym membership.

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