It's the sex episode. Oh, wait, for Christian that's every episode, isn't it? In the season-four premiere, Sean and Julia get into the act -- or try to at any rate.
The episode opens with Sean and Christian's 5,000th surgery. To celebrate, Sean goes home to Julia, and a comical sex scene ensues in which Sean and Julia contort to try to fit Julia's six-month pregnant belly into lovemaking. Cut to Christian, who, as usual, takes "having a family" in a slightly different light than his old friends, as he deftly maneuvers with, around and inside a mom and daughter in an attempt to, ahem, penetrate the loneliness he's felt since Kimber left.
Two former megastars -- Brooke Shields and Larry Hagman (J.R.!) -- make appearances. Brooke plays Christian's shrink, who, aside from ending up on top of her desk instead of behind it (surprise, surprise), does offer some interesting insights, including that Christian may have no room in his heart for the love of a good woman, because he's in love with a good man: Sean. This leads Christian to treat Sean like he has body lice, as well as skip out on surgery to have an interior decorator "butch up" his place. One of the changes? The introduction of a very large phallic sculpture (which makes one wonder if the decorator was a woman scorned -- or in cahoots with Christian's therapist… No self-respecting woman would go near that thing).
Larry Hagman plays a wealthy businessman with a gorgeous young wife. While the "kiwi-size" testicular implants he requests add some humor to the episode, his wife and money have bigger parts (no pun intended). The wife (played by Sanaa Lathan), whom Christian is -- naturally -- immediately taken by, resists the doctor's oh-so-unsubtle advances, telling him, "You don't choose who you love, Dr. Troy; it chooses you." Cue thoughts about Sean. She does make Christian a proposition, though: to buy the practice. The money is great and Christian's primed to accept, but Sean, calling the practice their "child," is vehemently opposed to the sale…
…Until he gets home and discovers while he's moaning to Julia about Christian wanting to make joint decisions solo, she's done exactly the same thing in her and Sean's relationship: She knew there might be something wrong with their baby but didn't tell him. Now that it's too late to consider abortion, the diagnosis has been confirmed. Their unborn baby boy has ectrodactyly, a congenital abnormality in which the fingers or toes are malformed.
Julia says she plans to raise their son with or without Sean's help and vows to sell her shares in De La Mer, the spa she co-owns with Gina. Sean, distraught, goes to Christian's, where he breaks down and offers to sacrifice their baby, the practice, to care for his and Julia's unborn child.
Coming attractions for the season:
- The new owners bring more than a dose of drama
- Rosie O'Donnell guests
- My favorite non-regular, Escobar, returns?
But the big question is, where is Kimber?
This is Diana, iVillage's resident Nip/Tuck fanatic, signing off until next week...
