Obama Burns Jay-Z & Taylor Swift at White House Correspondents Dinner

The president was almost as funny as host Conan O'Brien at the annual roast

Barack Obama is a controversial president, but we hope everyone can agree on one thing: The guy can land a punchline. At Saturday's annual White House Correspondents Dinner, the president gave a scathingly funny speech, lampooning himself, the press, Congress, and a few A-list celebrities. If he wasn't funnier than the evening's host Conan O'Brien, he definitely gave him a run for his money! Check out Obama's 7 best zingers, including shots at Jay-Z and Taylor Swift, below.

7. "Some things are beyond my control.  For example, this whole controversy about Jay-Z going to Cuba -- it’s unbelievable.  I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one."

6. "I know CNN has taken some knocks lately, but the fact is I admire their commitment to cover all sides of a story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate."

5. "Did you know that Sheldon Adelson spent $100 million of his own money last year on negative ads?  You’ve got to really dislike me to spend that kind of money.  I mean, that’s Oprah money...Sheldon would have been better off offering me $100 million to drop out of the race. I probably wouldn’t have taken it, but I'd have thought about it. Michelle would have taken it."

4. "I understand that when the Correspondents’ Association was considering Conan for this gig, they were faced with that age-old dilemma:  Do you offer it to him now, or wait for five years and then give it to Jimmy Fallon?"

3. "Maureen Dowd said I could solve all my problems if I were just more like Michael Douglas in The American President. And I know Michael is here tonight.  Michael, what’s your secret, man? Could it be that you were an actor in an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy? Might that have something to do with it?"

2. "We need to make progress on some important issues. Take the sequester. Republicans fell in love with this thing, and now they can't stop talking about how much they hate it. It's like we're trapped in a Taylor Swift album."

1. "The media landscape is changing so rapidly.  You can’t keep up with it.  I mean, I remember when BuzzFeed was just something I did in college around 2 a.m."

Watch Obama's full speech below -- if only for some amazing pictures of Barack photoshopped with Michelle Obama's bangs.



And if you want to compare, check out Conan's speech below. His jabs were more directed at media insiders, though he did get in a couple good ones -- for example, comparing Piers Morgan to "one of the scheming footmen from Downton Abbey."
 



The night's other comic highlight was a parody of the Netflix series House of Cards, in which the show's characters (led by Kevin Spacey as Congressman Frank Underwood) schemed to put together the Correspondents Dinner seating chart. Look for cameos from the always-game Senator John McCain and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.



There was also this spoof clip from Steven Spielberg's new film, Obama, in which Daniel Day-Lewis portrays the sitting president.



Finally, check out this mash-up of the best of Joe Biden, who doesn't even need jokes to be funny.

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