Obama's Naughty Joke, Michelle on Letterman & Clinton Says "Sorry!"

Here's our roundup of the best tweets, quotes and late-night jokes of the week

What a week! Obama fundraised with the LGBT crowd in L.A., Scott Walker survived a recall in Wisconsin—and Jay Leno proved that Romney-dog jokes still have bite. So let's get to it, here are the 10 of the best quips inspired by the week’s events.

1. Obama’s double entendre
When the president was in L.A. for a fundraiser this week, he described his wife’s much-discussed exercise routine with a rather risqué twist. According to Politico, “‘Michelle outdoes me in pushups as well,’ he said, after saying that she’s taken some criticism on her technique ‘because she doesn’t go all the way down’—a line that he let hang, naughtily, provoking laughter from the crowd.”

2. Michelle Obama’s gardening-themed top 10 list on Letterman
The first lady stopped by Late Night with David Letterman on Tuesday to tout her new book, American Grown, and she had the honor of revealing the evening’s top 10 list, which included:
“No. 10: Gardening was invented in 1822 by Albert Gardener.
No. 9: Plant avocados, tomatoes, onions and cilantro together and grow a guacamole tree.
No. 8: Eggplants were originally cultivated for use as doorstops.
No. 7: In his lifetime, the average American will eat half a radish.
No. 6: The largest zucchini ever grown contained a Starbucks.
No. 5: Later this year the Supreme Court will finally rule on ‘tomato’ vs. ‘tomahto.’
No. 4: If you have an actual green thumb, it might be scurvy.
No. 3: Lettuce is 96 percent water and 4 percent lettuce.
No. 2: The White House tool shed contains shovels, trowels and Weed Whacker One.
No. 1: With enough care and effort you can grow your own Barack-oli.”

3. Jon Stewart’s media critique after Scott Walker’s win
According to Stewart, MSNBC was in some serious denial about Walker’s recall survival, calling the network “MSNB-Sad” for its apparently non-reality-based reporting:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Madison Men - Scott Walker Prevails in Wisconsin Recall
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

4. Clinton’s apology
Former president Bill Clinton apologized Thursday for controversial remarks earlier this week stemming from his comments about extending the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy—a big, off-message oops. "I'm very sorry about what happened," Clinton said on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer.

5. Leno’s still dogging Romney
Nope, we’re not done being appalled (slash snickering) about Mitt Romney’s ill-advised decision to strap his dog to the top of his car. On his show last night, Jay Leno joked, “[In] New Jersey there’s now a $1,000 fine if you don’t put your dog in a seat belt. Today Mitt Romney’s dog said, ‘Now you pass this law!’”

6. Bill Maher’s quip about the economy
The controversial host of HBO’s Real Time With Bill Maher, who recently made a big show of donating $1 million to Obama’s campaign, took to Twitter with this take on the economy: “Even with bad econ news today, banks had best quarter since crash - think how good they'd do if prez who bailed them out wasn’t a socialist.”

7. Gawker’s tongue-in-cheek response to Gallup’s poll
According to a recent Gallup poll, U.S. adults said they estimate 25 percent of Americans are gay. In fact, that percentage is closer to 3.5. In response to the public’s apparent confusion, gossip blog Gawker wrote, “…In numerical terms, this implies that the LGBT population of America consists of roughly 9 million individuals—about the same amount of people as make up New Jersey. (For quick reference, just start telling people that every single person who lives in New Jersey is gay.)”

8. Fallon’s Romney dig
He was before he wasn’t, et cetera. Romney’s history of flip-flopping is a known obstacle for his campaign. Jimmy Fallon used his Tuesday monologue to weigh in, saying, “Romney gave his volunteers a free sweatshirt for making phone calls on his behalf. The sweatshirts are just like Romney: 100 percent reversible.”

9. Joan Rivers rips Edwards
John Edwards may have walked, but that doesn’t mean that people have to like him—least of all Joan Rivers, whose new book is called I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me. She tweeted, “I'm thrilled that John Edwards got off! Now he can spend quality time with Rielle and the kid.”

10. Boxer breaks it down
Senator Barbara Boxer tweeted an appeal to voters to pass the Paycheck Fairness Act, providing a staggering stat: “Women lose an average of $400,000+ over their lifetimes bc of the wage gap. We need to pass the Paycheck Fairness Act.” Alas, it failed a senate vote.

Alesandra Dubin is a Los Angeles-based writer. Follow her on Twitter: @alicedubin.

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