I’ve never been to the UK – my little brother did live there for a semester in college and loved it, but I have a feeling that’s because his trip consisted of getting his tongue pierced, going to all-night raves and living on a diet of French fries (aka “chips”). Our UK readers surely know there’s more to it than techno and grease…and now, I do, too.
The reason? The UK Daily Mail, a news-like compendium of the best dirt out there. Tons of stories revolve around women and body image (albeit in a sort of roundabout, fantastical way, but not as bad as the Enquirer’s “Bat Boy Mates with Wolf Baby – Marriage Set for 3118.”) Some examples:
Pakistani woman given asylum because she's 7ft 2in tall Clearly, the “tall girl” angle lured me in here, although my 71 inches has garnered me the right to rock a pair of extra-long Seven jeans, not forced me to seek refuge in another country (fifth grade body angst notwithstanding.) But for Zainab Bibi, 7’2”, her height apparently rendered her a target at home in Pakistan (she had thrown stones at her, her clothing pulled by youth and she once broke her wrist when attacked) so she is expected to be allowed to stay permanently in Britain, an apparent Height Safe Haven.
Britain's strongest girl: The 14-year-old who can lift twice her own body weight Go, strong girl! Zoe Smith, 14, can lift almost two-thirds more than her body weight and may be headed to the 2012 London Olympics.
Nice legs, shame about the face: Angelina Jolie reveals her stunning legs... and her razor-sharp cheekbones Ahh, schadenfrude – alive and well both here and across the pond. Spotted at the Critics Choice Awards with Brad, “Angelina revealed her coltish limbs in a slashed to the thigh, oyster white goddess gown. But worryingly the actress's skin looked tightly stretched taut across her face, unveiling a pair of razor-sharp cheekbones.” My question: Since when is “coltish” a slam? Unless you’re a big, bad, man bull, I mean.
Put it away Madonna! Heavily airbrushed singer strikes raunchiest pose ever in latest Louis Vuitton ad Because nothing sells wildly over-priced leather satchels than a wide-open crotch.
Also from the UK, check out this video of Jennifer Aniston on The View, admitting she was all airbrushed in that naked pic on the cover of GQ (surely you’ve seen it? She’s wearing a tie and nothing else. Business casual, in others words.)
Around minute 2:10, this happens:
"What happened to the girl next door from Friends?" Barbara Walters asked, holding up the January issue.
"She's there! Photoshopped!" Aniston, 39, replied.
"There was a story behind this. This had a whole concept. It was going to be in various stages of undress. There was going to be me in a gown and men in tuxedos. And then it would be me wearing the man's shirt. And he would have no shirt on. And then they were supposed to get naked! Somehow I don't know what happened!"
Asked by View co-host Joy Behar if she had been tricked, Aniston quipped, "they got me bombed!"
Sweet. Airbrushing AND purposeful intoxication of a woman? Perhaps we all need to seek asylum in Britain.