Older Women, Younger Men: Can It Work?

Hollywood may insist that the proper pairing is a sophisticated older man and a vivacious younger woman, but some iVillage members will tell you different. Many women are passing up the Sean Connery types to find true love with younger men. What's the attraction? As iVillager debbiey points out, "All the guys I meet are my age or older and divorced. It didn't take me very long to get really tired of divorce stories. I met a great guy who's 22. We got along well, although there were obvious differences in our lifestyles. And no divorce stories!"

We all know some of the other pros to dating a young, virile man -- Terry McMillan sure made a case for it in How Stella Got Her Groove Back -- but couples in these relationships face their own dilemmas as well. Here are three of the most common problems and encouraging solutions from women who have been there and who have no intention of trading their men in for an older model.

What's wrong:
We are at two different places in our lives. I am ready to commit, but he's not ready to think of marriage. I don't know where we are heading or whether we have a future together.

How to cope:
"There's nothing wrong with living in the 'here and now' and letting nature take its course. If it's meant to be, it will be. You're fortunate to have love in your life -- be happy about that. Don't want to waste one precious second of NOW while on the way getting to THEN." -- gwenmarie

"I am in the same kind of relationship and feel the same way. We are enjoying what we have now, learning from each other. I look at our relationship as a gift ... our own little slice of heaven. No matter what happens, I will never regret this."
-- joycef2

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