Om My God: What Can Possibly Top Naked Yoga?

With people already practicing ganja yoga, naked yoga and dog yoga, we imagine the next big yoga trends

Few things in life horrify me more than the thought of striking Wheel pose, sans clothes, in a 105-degree room full of other sweaty, naked yogis. Call me crazy, but when I’m in Downward Dog, I don’t want anyone to see my kitty. Yet Naked Yoga classes have been popping up all over in recent years.

If you’re too high-strung to ditch your Lululemon, perhaps you need a little herbal relaxation. Consider signing up for Ganja Yoga. No, Ganja isn’t short for famous yogi Sri Sadasiva “Ganja” Patel-Brahman. Ganja as in, “pot.”  Blaze up before getting down on your mat and feel the flow, baby! (How this doesn’t lead to a 60-minute Savasana is anyone’s guess.)

These days, there’s a yoga for everyone. Doggy yoga (doga?). Wedding yoga. Yoga for seniors. Even Snooki  has been assuming the lotus position. It seems people think adding "yoga" to the end of a class makes it seem healthy. Yoga as an excuse to smoke pot, naked yoga as an excuse to stare at sweaty yoga bodies. What's next, soft-serve yoga? To wrap up National Yoga Month, we’ve dreamed up a few classes we expect to see in the next few years:

Lindsay Lohan Yoga This is billed as an hour-long class, but most people leave after five minutes.

Forever 21 Yoga Specially designed poses are designed to increase flexibility (for maneuvering into tiny skirts and tanks) and endurance (to help you spend the roughly four hours it takes to maneuver through the palatial store.)

Lady Gaga Yoga Shoes with a minimum 8-inch heel required. Rumor has it Lululelmon will be introducing a new coordinating meat sports bra.

Gossip Girl Yoga A wardrobe stylist is on hand to match each yogi with an extravagant haute couture gown; traditional “Ommmm” chant is replaced with “Sereeeenaaaa.” Unlike traditional classes, Blackberries are not only allowed, but encouraged.

California Maki Yoga Your sticky mat is perfect for making sticky rice! Pop in a veggie roll and chew while in Child’s Pose.

Vampire Yoga Dress up as your favorite Twilight or True Blood character and assume Brooding Pose.

What kind of yoga class would you dream up?

Would you ever take naked yoga? Chime in below.


 

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