Americans are only having sex an average of once a week (American Demographics, February, 1998). How can this be? Sex can be one of the most joyful things two people can do together. It can excite us, energize us, relax us, soothe our souls, relieve our stress and reconnect us with each other. Why then are we putting sex at the bottom of our priority list?
With both parents working, usually outside the home, have we become too busy to enjoy this pleasant diversion? Or are we so totally frazzled that we don't even recognize the pleasure good sex can provide? A scary thought! We're not talking about pulling teeth. We're talking about touching each other, stroking each other, making love. We're talking about ecstasy, passion -- not a visit to the dentist.
Is sexual burnout inevitable? When I was a stay-at-home mom with three children under the age of 10 my answer would have been "yes." The last thing I wanted to think about was sex. I felt "touched out" by the time bedtime rolled around, and the last thing I wanted was to satisfy someone else's needs. (I had forgotten about my own.) I ignored all books and articles about sex. They made me feel guilty -- as if I wasn't holding up my part of the bargain. My husband had about given up on having his intimate needs met. Sadly, I had even resigned myself to an almost sexless life.
I was ready for a change. A big change! Our sexuality depends on many things -- our health, our stress level, and our upbringing -- but change is always possible. I went about rebuilding my desire. I was on a mission. A mission of love. And no, it wasn't accomplished overnight. But now I can honestly say that making love is right back on the top of my "favorite things-to-do" list. And that makes me happy, and it makes my husband happy.