Oral Sex: 3 Tips Sure to Please

My relationship with my boyfriend is getting more intimate. I don't want to have intercourse yet (I'm a virgin), but I would try oral sex. I'm worried because I have a terrible gag reflex -- I even have a hard time taking medicine I don't like. Any suggestions on how to overcome this and please my boyfriend in bed? --S


Dear S:

Well, as I always say to first-timers, never allow yourself to be pressured into any sexual act that you do not choose for yourself. Oral sex can create emotional stress if you are not ready for that level of intimacy. Also, it can expose you to sexually transmitted diseases, such as herpes. Needless to say, being sexual with another person, in any way and at any level, is a precious gift that you share.

As for how to give a man pleasure with your mouth, one of my favorite books is Lou Paget's How to Be a Great Lover. In it, she talks about many methods for fellatio (oral sex on a man). The gag reflex you describe is not that uncommon among women. Some women gag at the mere thought of having a penis in their mouth. Some humans do have what's called a short palate, which means that structurally they really do have a difficult time placing objects deep into their mouths. This may or may not be your problem; a doctor should be able to evaluate this for you.

Watch Video: The Selfish Lover

You can learn to become a skilled oral lover without having to perform such acts, by the way. Many men enjoy the sheer pleasure of being licked along the shaft or on the highly sensitive coronal ridge (the ridge around the head), of being teased gently with little bites around the head (be very gentle) and even light sucking on the head. Another hot spot where you may want to use your tongue is on the frenulum, the point where the head meets the shaft on the underside.