Is oral sex cheating?

Dear Dr. Patti:

Like Clinton, do most men think that oral sex doesn't constitute cheating on their partner?

S.

Question:

Dear S,

It all depends on what agreements you have with your partner about exclusivity. Some people, both men and women, don't think of oral sex as "real" sex; to a sexologist, it is clearly a sexual exchange. And if having oral sex puts you at risk for a sexually transmissible disease (STD) and you continue to have sexual contact with your primary partner without protection, you are cheating both (him or) her and yourself. The best relationships are built on a foundation of trust and honesty. YOU decide.

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