Oral Sex: Tips for Her and Him

Q: My boyfriend and I aren't having sex, but we enjoy touching and oral sex. Do you have any tips on how to make oral sex more pleasurable for a man, or how to get him to give it to me more often?

A: Where do I start? There's actually an entire chapter in my first book devoted to step-by-step, his-and-her guides to giving oral sex. You might want to check it out for more detail. In the meantime, these would be my top tips. (Side note: I really, really don't agree with the ''no BJ until he delivers'' theory. Sex shouldn't be about keeping a score. It should be about giving and receiving pleasure and getting as much satisfaction on either end of that scale.)

Tips for you doing it to him: 1. Act like you want to be there. A woman who's performing simply because she has to is the number-one passion killer. 2. Don't bite (unless he asks for it). Keep your teeth covered at all times with your lips. 3. Don't be too rough. Yanking back the foreskin, sucking too hard, pumping up and down like you're trying to draw water from a dry well ... it ain't nice! 4. Educate yourself. My book has pages of instruction on how to do it well. You've made a great start here by asking and getting advice from everyone. The more you find out and read up about, the better. 5. Don't act as if semen is poison. You don't have to swallow, but you don't need to run out of the room either. Don't leave him in the lurch -- switch to using your hand or let him leave a little mess elsewhere on your body.

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