Sounding Off! Our Quickie Judgments About the Oscars

We're not ones to judge, buuuut ... check out our first impressions and uncensored opinions about Hollywood's biggest night

Charlize Theron rocks short hair better than Anne Hathaway, Miley Cyrus and Halle Berry combined.


Charlize Theron Oscars 2013

JOE KLAMAR/AFP/Getty Images


Is Jenna Dewan-Tatum the cutest pregnant chick ever?

Kevin Mazur/WireImage


Hey Q, can I borrow your puppy purse? Thanks, girl!

FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images


Jennifer Lawrence has her necklace on backwards.

Lester Cohen/WireImage


Dear Anne Hathaway, we can see your nipples. That is all.

Salma Hayek Oscars 2013

Kevin Mazur/WireImage


Why is Justin touching Jen's belly? Is she pregnant?!

Michael Buckner/Getty Images


Jane Fonda is pulling a Benjamin Button. She looks younger than Sally Field!

Kevin Mazur/WireImage


We predict "We Saw Your Boobs" will be No. 1 on iTunes this week.

ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images

 

Is Kristen Stewart auditioning for an Herbal Essences commercial?

Kristen Stewart Oscars

FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images


2013 is the year of the beard! Jackman, Theroux, Clooney, Affleck and Rudd are among the men who gave their razors the night off.

JOE KLAMAR/AFP/Getty Images


And the victims of Seth's harshest jokes are: Chris Brown/Rihanna, the Kardashians and Abraham Lincoln.

Helena Bonham Carter Oscars 2013

Getty Images


The award for most hilariously awkward presenters goes to ... Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy!

JOE KLAMAR/AFP/Getty Images


Umm ... why is John Travolta over-enunciating everything? (Lay-Miz-er-ab-a-lays!)

Mark Davis/WireImage


Catherine Zeta-Jones: Wowza!

ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images


Reese Witherspoon's curls are AMAZE-balls!

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

 

Wow...those Les Mis folks can sing! (You know, except for Russell Crowe.)

Kevin Winter/Getty Images


FOUR for you, Life of Pi! You go, Life of Pi.

Anna Donovan/FilmMagic


First her skirt falls down at the Globes, and now she trips! We'd feel super sad for Jennifer Lawrence ... if she didn't have so many awards to cheer her up.

Mark Davis/WireImage


It's official: Ben and Jen are the cutest couple at the Oscars (and maybe in the whole world).

ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images

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