Photo Credit: S. Dee/Photographer's Choice RF/Getty Images
Think before you ink, especially if it involves your dink. That’s the lesson we’ve learned from one guy’s decision to get a tattoo on his penis. The 21-year-old man from Iran – no, we’re not penning a limerick –thought it would be a swell idea to bedeck his beanpole with the Persian script, borow be salaamat (good luck on your journeys), along with the initial of his girlfriend’s last name (“M”).
Unfortunately, his journey to the tattoo parlor was not a fortuitous one. In addition to a decoration to last for all eternity, the man gained a permanent stiffy as well.
While that might sound kind of kinky, especially for a guy who has no problem getting needles jabbed into his winky, a lasting erection --actually, a semi-erection, in this guy’s case -- is not the barrel of fun you’d expect it to be.
Plenty of movies and TV shows, like Love and Other Drugs and Grey’s Anatomy, have gleefully demonstrated just how painful priapism, the medical term for an erection that won’t go away, can be. It’s also bad for the babymaker.
According to The Body Odd, long-term woodies prevent fresh blood flow into the organ, which can “starve the spongy tissues of oxygen, destroying them and resulting in impotence.” If the man’s tattoo was a bon voyage message to his sperm, it sounds like they’re going to need all the good luck wishes they can get.
So what caused this guy’s downstairs renovation to go awry? Iranian doctors told MSNBC that the tattooist punctured holes in the penis that were too deep, resulting in damage to the blood vessels. For you HGTV fans, it’s kind of like contractors hitting a water main during a basement remodel. The blood vessels sprung a leak, leading to an abnormal pooling of blood, which you could say did lasting damage to the original details of his, uh, “edifice.”
According to reports, the unnamed fellow can still get a normal-ish erection and is still able to have sex. The longer you go with an erection – say, 12 hours or more -- the less chances you have of getting a full and functional one later on. So, all things considered, the glass-half-full person might argue that luck is actually still on this guy’s side. We, on the other hand, have misplaced our rose-colored glasses and believe this guy has permanently fallen on hard times.