Glamour; Bazaar
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Health
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Celebrity update: Kristen Stewart has lost an arm and Beyonce's baby is a thigh snatcher. This, at least, according to the world of magazine covers.
Yep. The current cover of Glamour Magazine is ridiculous. Kristen Stewart's arm has died somewhere around her left knee in an effort to make her torso seem even tinier than usual. Don't believe me? Just try to connect her left hip to her rib cage -- yes, on real humans, these body parts line up -- and you'll see that things are a bit...off.
The more I stare at it, the more I wonder if her upper and lower halves are actually from two separate photos, but now we're starting to sound all conspiracy theory. So let's move on. See, poor Kristen isn't the only celeb getting the Photoshop fail lately. Beyonce graced the cover of Harper's Bazaar, apparently pregnant -- yet entirely lacking her usually bootylicious thighs. Because that's normal. Pregnancy makes women taller and skinnier, right?
And while Photoshop loves the ladies, it is equal opportunity too: Russian Vogue removed a chunk of Adam Levine's torso when he posed with girlfriend, model Anne Vyalitsyna, reports the Daily Mail.
I can't decide what goes on in the magazine offices before these covers go to press. Are they just so rushed that nobody notices? Do they think the photos look better this way? Do they think their readers won't pick up on things? So many questions.
But here's the thing: I'm not actually all that upset about any of this.
Usually, when celebrities get airbrushed out of the realm of reality, it perpetuates the notion that it's possible and even expected for all of us to be as thin and flawless as celebrities appear to be all the time. This helps exactly nobody because the more you see airbrushed representations of beauty, the more they become your new normal -- which makes it harder to love what you see in your (non-airbrushed) mirror. This is what makes us think we should Photoshop our own snapshots. Or pre-Photoshop ourselves with permanent makeup. This is when we know we've lost the plot.
But, when magazines goof like these three have and make airbrushing so obvious my cat could spot it, I do a happy dance. Because now we're reminded: It's. All. Fake. Nobody really looks like this. Kristen Stewart has two arms! And pores and arm hairs and everything else they removed. Beyonce's thighs really look more like this awesomeness. Adam has all of his internal organs.
And now that we're talking about how crazy these Photoshop stunts are, we can extend the conversation and say, hey, it's pretty crazy that we've gotten so used to looking at these perfect images in the first place. And it's pretty hypocritical that Glamour is still pulling this stuff, after all of their big talk about celebrating beautiful women at every size.
And maybe now that we know all of this -- or, more accurately, now that we know it yet again -- we'll remember. And the next time you're looking at a magazine cover where the model has all of her limbs but nevertheless seems inhumanely beautiful, you won't start comparing yourself and feeling bad. Instead, you'll enjoy the cover for what it is -- a pretty picture -- and stop applying that standard to your own human, three dimensional, and perfectly lovely self.
