Photo Credit: Life & Style
Kourtney Kardashian, featured in swimwear for the new Life & Style Weekly, flaunts an enviably fit figure. And why is her red bikini newsworthy of a magazine cover? Because she gave birth to son Mason just three months ago. That's right -- it's another post-baby bikini photo shoot!
When exactly did this become a trend? All of a sudden, it seems that we can't walk down a supermarket aisle without some famous new mother flashing her abs. Kendra Wilkinson wore a blue bikini on the cover of OK! in February, just eight weeks after giving birth to baby Hank IV. Elisabeth Hasselbeck stripped down for the cover of Fitness last May, six months after delivering son Taylor. And then there's Nadya Suleman, who posed for the cover of Star in January -- one year after giving birth to octuplets.
We're not surprised that these magazines fly off the shelves. After all, these covers combine two topics that many women obsess about at some point: weight loss and pregnancy. But there are so many things sadistically wrong with our post-baby celebrity body obsession. Such as...
The magazines are misleading
Kardashian's cover reads "How I lost 33 pounds! My super-fast weight loss, flat stomach in days, new secret slim-down shake." The implication: Her pregnancy weight vanished, and if you buy this magazine, yours can too! Never mind that you don't have a private trainer, personal nutritionist, full-time baby nurse/nanny or discreet cosmetic surgeon. The key is just a slim-down shake recipe, right?
The celebrity moms are misleading
"No nips, no tucks, no lipo" reads Octomom's bikini cover. Suleman denied to Star that she had surgery to get back into shape. Here's the truth: It's theoretically possible that she dropped the weight (reportedly 150 lbs.) without surgery -- however, this is a photo of Suleman's pregnant belly. See all that stretched-out skin? Remember the Jon and Kate Plus 8 episode where Kate showed her post-sextuplets flab, before the tummy tuck? All the sit-ups in the world don't make that go away on its own.
Photoshopping has become shameless
If a celeb has stretch marks or love handles after giving birth, you'll never know, because magazines don't hesitate to retouch cover images. Look at this altered cover image of Kardashian (which, thankfully, she objected to) for evidence of how far digital "shaping" goes. And furthermore...
The message to moms is totally messed up
You know what you should be thinking about in the weeks immediately after you have a baby? Your baby. Not how you look in a bikini, or your calorie intake. You have a newborn, and you'll never get these first months back. The last thing overwhelmed new moms need is rich, beautiful stars creating pressure (like we can all devote ourselves to Pilates while sitters hold down the fort!).
So, can we all agree that this is the worst trend ever? Celebrities, the ball's in your court here: Stop posing for bikini photos in your rush to get back into the spotlight, when you should be bonding with your newborn. As for the rest of us, we can ignore these covers at the newsstand. If the mags stop selling, celeb moms may get real, get dressed and get back to their new families.