Post-Natal Orgasms: How to Bring Back the Big ''O'' after Baby

Ever since I had my daughter, I have been having trouble reaching orgasm during sex. She is our last, and I had my tubes tied for birth control. Could that have anything to do with it, or is it me in general? I would really like to be able to enjoy sex again. --iVillager ''J''


Dear J:

In my opinion, it's highly unlikely that the tubal ligation is the source of your recent onset of inorgasmia (as it's called). What else has changed since the birth of your daughter? Less sleep, more stress, less time for lovemaking? And are you still nursing? If so, your body may not be back to its normal ''hormonal mix,'' which could very well be the root of the problem. Likewise, you could be experiencing some form of postpartum depression (although your interest in sex -- a problem for many new moms -- is a good sign to the contrary). Whatever it is, something has interrupted your former sexual response cycle. I assume from what you've written that previous to the birth of your daughter all was sexually satisfactory.

Stress, anxiety and fatigue are the three biggest killers of sexual desire and full orgasmic response. Drugs, both prescription and recreational, can also have a severe impact. And depression can deliver a wallop to a person's sex drive and sexual response. You'll want to isolate any changes in your life since your daughter's birth that could be affecting your love life, and do what you can to modify them so that the effect is lessened. Consider everything. For example, have you made any other significant lifestyle changes, such as major weight gain or loss, change of diet and exercise, going back to work or not going back to work? Any and all of these could also be affecting your sexual response cycle.

Assuming that none of the above is the culprit, it's entirely possible that your own hormone levels have been shifting recently, both from recent motherhood and natural aging. Talking candidly to your medical doctor about what you're experiencing would be a very good place to start. Depending on your age and other personal health factors, it's possible that your doctor might want to consider prescribing hormone therapy to give your body a little ''boost.'' Many women's dormant or reduced sex drive or response cycle has miraculously returned within weeks of this treatment. Take a deep breath and speak plainly to your medical doctor about this concern, and ask whether this or another treatment might now be right for you.

There's no need for you to suffer any further with this frustration and disappointment. Most likely, what you're experiencing is a temporary condition. With your attention on this matter now, the prognosis for improving your sexual satisfaction in the near future is excellent.

Find out more about Dr. Michael Ra Bouchard.

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