• Because of the noise level and the intensity with which they play together, it is harder to get twins to listen to anything, let alone pay attention to the subtle signals inside their body. Short of using a bullhorn, the easiest way to get their attention is to transfer the fun to the bathroom. I let them bring everything (our bathroom looks like a playroom) -- whatever they need to sit and focus on the potty for even a few minutes.
• A lot of the motivation for potty training comes from watching and emulating the "big kids." Since my twins need only look to each other for approval and validation, external peer pressure does not enter the picture.
• If one child is interested and the other is not, the issue is how to keep the interested one progressing and to give him the focus he needs without including or excluding the other one. To do this, I have learned to quiet my enthusiasm. If I am too loud a cheerleader and become too involved in the process, then toileting fast becomes a family affair. Instead, I swiftly take the one son who needs to go into the bathroom, offer him a brief "good for you" and get right back to business.
• To avoid tantrums and the inevitable fighting that comes from any unequal distribution of property, I have also learned to stay away from potty treats. It is too difficult for children this age to understand why their sibling gets a reward while they don't.
• Although it is tempting, I make an effort not to use one son's progress to inspire the other one -- even by saying something like "Wow, look at your brother going on the potty." Competition is a powerful and positive force that naturally exists between twins, so around such a sensitive issue there is no need to intensify it.