I think the greatest awareness around this forgiveness process came when I realized my contribution to the ending of my marriage, and that divorce, for us, was inevitable.
Find your path to forgiveness here:
The Meaning of Forgiveness
What does it mean to forgive? Webster defines it as "to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; stop being angry with; to give up all claim to punish or exact penalty." If we are to forgive, then we must first surrender the right to get even. We then cease defining the one who hurt us in terms of the hurt that was caused. Keep in mind, there's nothing in Webster's definition about the need to reach approval of the injurer's actions: you can forgive your spouse's infidelity, for instance, without approving of that infidelity.
If we forgive, then we can also reach a point where we wish our injurers well; this act of forgiveness then becomes some kind of miracle after we've made meaning of the situation.
How do we get to "meaning making?" One way to make sense of your divorce is to realize that your choice of partner may have been based on an old and unhealed need (probably from your childhood) -- not on a current or realistic expectation. During the first seven years of our life, we usually internalize that parent from whom we need the most approval; later on, this internal parent influences how we choose relationships.