Pregnancy journal: Pondering the birth

 

I probably sound like I’m crazy, but I just dread the idea of leaving him alone. I remember when my siblings were born. I was tucked away with my best friend’s family (for two of the three) then left with a baby sitter when my youngest brother was born. I am by no means upset about this, but I do recall wanting to be there and to know what was happening. It’s my hope that if Jacob can come in with me, for any length of time he’ll at least know that Mommy is OK and that Daddy will be with me. His two Grandmothers are nurses so he’s been in and out of a hospital on “social” visits and I think has learned that they are not bad places. I’m very hopeful that this will work out for all of us. Having my whole family there is the most appealing part of a homebirth in my mind, so what’s better than that, in the relative safety of a hospital?

Of course, as Jacob keeps reminding me, the baby could always be born in a barn. “Jesus was born in a barn Mommy” he tells me daily in a tone of voice that suggests that if it was good enough for this baby who inspired Christmas, it should be good enough for our baby. I guess I could ask my neighbors to borrow their barn!

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